I haven't written since early May. I've let the ideas and notes pile up, letting the story breathe. I've resisted the urge to plot out the book and leaned into the gentle discovery that I love so much as a story begins connecting itself. The minor haitus from the actual writing is definitely a result of not having a strong sense of where the story is going next. Instead of being frightened by that, I've tried to be patient. I already feel like that was the right stance.
But recently the desire to return to the actual writing part, rather than the thinking and dreaming part, has been pronounced. Some new "connective tissue" has emerged. Of course, it's unclear what version of the story being conjured will be the final one. There are many possible shapes to the same story I think. That is, after all, part of the stress of writing something so "large". It feels like there are so many possible paths and that I could "take a wrong turn". Of course, there are no wrong turns that can't be double backed on and rectified. But the recent lines connecting the various dots are exciting and I feel energized.
I reread the most recent parts of the story today and was struck by the need for what I feel are fairly obvious structural rearrangements. But the fascinating part is the rearrangements all "fit" together, like legos that had been clicked into wrong positions but upon correction snap together. That is the strange part since I wrote the original order thinking it was the logical sequence for the story. But it's cool that the story is still all there, and improved, after the rearranging.
I am sure this will happen again and again, several more times before the first draft is finished.
Example of a footnote / sidenote.